Valentine’s Day has got me thinking about how to show my daughter I love her. Yes, I tell her I love her a lot, but in what ways do I let her know that she’s loved? As the saying goes, “Actions speak louder than words.” And how does my love for her help her develop into a loving and resilient person herself? How can we, as parents, build loving and strong individuals?

Here are some of my thoughts.

Ways to Show Love and Build Resilient Children

1. Abandon the idea of perfect parenting. 

As much as we would love to be perfect parents, there is no such thing and never will be. We will make mistakes. And even with those mistakes, we will always love our children. If we can be honest with those mistakes and discuss them with our children, this shows good communication skills and the ability to move on and grow from our mistakes.

2.Self care

In order to love others in the best way possible, we need to take care of ourselves first. You know how on airplanes the flight attendants tell you if the oxygen masks are needed, we need to put them on ourselves first before we help others? We can’t help others if we are oxygen-deprived ourselves. The same thing goes in our daily lives. We need to get enough sleep, eat well, and give ourselves time to relax. I know that when I’m stressed all I can think about are those issues I’m stressed about, so that leaves less time to be “full” in my love for my daughter.

3.Prioritize time with kids

We should be sure to make one-on-one time with our kids. We are likely busy with our jobs, bills, etc. However, even if we set aside at least 15-30 minutes a day to give our kids our full attention, this will still make them feel valued. For me, this helps me unwind and not think about work or anything else that might be stressful.

4.Listen

If your child wants to tell you a story, really listen. Drop everything you are doing. We have become somewhat disconnected from others because of social media and our phones, so it’s important to take the time to fully listen to our loved ones.

5.Encourage, encourage, encourage. 

I think this one may be obvious, as we want the best for our kids. But sometimes, when our kids are struggling, they may just want encouragement and not anything else. They want to know that it can get better and that we will always support them through the good and the bad. We want them to “keep going” and to follow their dreams.

Final Thoughts on Showing Love and Building Resilience

There are many ways to show our love to our kids, and in turn, build loving and resilient kids. If you want more ideas on how you can do this, visit 10 Simple Ways to Show Your Kids Love.

I am married, and I also have a 4-year-old daughter. I earned my Ph.D. in Experimental Psychology from the University of Southern Mississippi, and I have been teaching psychology classes over the past 10 years. As a professor and as a parent, I grew to love learning anything about child development. I recently turned that into a passion for helping other parents by starting my own blog at http://www.nurturingtamra.com.

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